Convicted and Married

I used to think that once I was married sin wouldn’t be a problem. My friends, let me tell you how wrong I was. Marriage has brought out the UGLY! I’m talking Medusa ugly (unless it’s the Monster’s Inc. Medusa, she was kind of cute…but I digress) it has showed me my deepest untouched faults, and honestly, that’s okay. Marriage is supposed to sanctify you not make you feel good about who you already were. However, even in the area of lust I found out I still had to check myself. No, I’m not thinking about other men, or texting old flames (I have strict boundaries on that, but that’s another post!). My biggest issue has been Netflix!!

WHAT?!

Yeah girl, Netflix.

What about Netflix? Well, before I was married I tried not to watch anything to hot and heavy so I wouldn’t slip, especially as Mike and I were practicing abstinence. But, that made sense to do at the time. Being married I thought I could watch whatever cuz, hey, I was already gettin’ down with the get down (On the regular! Y’all don’t hear me though! But I digress….again). Why would I need to guard my gates, so to speak, when my gate was already wide open for someone (okay last one I promise lol!). However, I quickly realized that it was even more necessary now than ever. There are just certain things I can’t/won’t watch because of how they impact me.

For example, I used to watch a show that had some pretty explicit sex scenes and I found that they made me so uncomfortable! For one, I truly have never been witness to anyone else’ sex life other than my own, so I felt like I was watching something I didn’t want to see and shouldn’t have access to.

For two, truthfully I was looking like

“Ooooooo my hubby don’t do that!” or “Why doesn’t he ever try that” or “I definitely don’t do that! Am I not good enough?” That can too easily lead to feeling unsatisfied in my marriage when those things weren’t even on my radar prior to watching the show or scene. It can also lead to fantasizing about what your life would look like if your husband was more like *insert fine show character here*. The reality is that it ain’t real. None of it. Not one bit. But TV has a way of making you believe what you see is real even though it’s super fabricated. Matter of fact my latest “Calm down, Nique” moment came when I watched the PHENOMENON that is This is Us. It wasn’t a sex scene but the relationship goals genius of Randall and Beth, especially on the latest episode *SPOILER ALERT* with Deja leaving *end SPOILER ALERT*, had me IN MY FEELINGS about my husband. I was on my couch like:

“Why Mike don’t cry like Randall!!?? Why we not adopting no kids, huh!? Does he even love me!!?”

I’m exaggerating but I’d be lying if I didn’t side eye my husband when he got home that day.

So, I’ve had to be somewhat selective on what I watch and listen to. I don’t know, maybe I’m more impressionable than you and you feel like you can watch whatever you want and it makes no difference. More power to you, lady! What I’m saying is that as for me and these eyeballs we gotta have some rules, LOL. That’s not to say that I don’t watch any good shows, or listen to love songs because I most certainly do! I just know when I hit my “it’s gettin’ hot in herr” point in my internal thermometer, I need to respond. Also, don’t over-estimate your ability to watch these things either. You may not feel convicted, but it has been shown that media, in general, has an effect on our brains. So, if you find yourself looking at your husband crazy after watching Toby dote over Kate, or wondering about your sex life after watching Jada and Kofi’s scene at the end of Girls Trip…….don’t say ya girl ain’t warn you!

It’s all about healthy hearts and healthy marriages!

What has shockingly convicted you in your marriage? Comment below!