Everyone Loves Marriage Until It’s Time to Submit
Before we get started, I would like to preface this post by saying this:
If you are not a Christian who actively reads their Bible, this post will frustrate you. Continuing to read is an agreement to said frustration. Reader be warned.
Last week, Fantasia had a Breakfast Club Interview that had every woke person SHOOK!
People all over drag her for her statements. Then to make matters worse, they brought in her, albeit messy, past as disqualification for her speaking on relational topics altogether.
Later, her and her husband, further expounded on the part that got everyone riled up and it calmed the waters…a little.
Conversing with feminists and non-Believers on the topic of submission is EXHAUSTING. However, I’m not here for them today. I’m here for the Believers who struggle with the idea of submission.
If you believe in the infallible nature of the Word of God (which is something you really need to establish in your heart) then you should also believe the standard of God is right. thus motivating you, with the help of Holy Spirit, to reach said standard.
Well, submission is a Biblical mandate for marriage.
Let’s dissect that last sentence.
Submission- yielding to the authority of another. Not silence, not nonexistence, not unimportance.
Biblical- The inspired Word of God by which all Believers ought to govern themselves; God-ordained
Mandate- an official order. Not a suggestion
Marriage- a covenant between husband and wife. Not dating, not talking to, not fiancé.
The word submission has become akin to terrorism in the hearts and minds of women who have experienced abuse and disappointment at the hands of men they expected to love and respect them. This leaves a general distrust of the motives and intentions of men, thus when called to yield to the authority of one the concept is perplexing for fear of it being misused. (Read that again)
But alas, Beloved…
Godly submission from wife to husband (because there’s a flip side to this coin) was never meant to be given to just anyone.
See, your job in selecting a covenant partner (see 3 Reasons Why the One Doesn’t Exist), was to choose one worthy of the gift of submission. Submission is sweeter in the hands of one who will cherish it for the sacred thing that it is. However, you may have chosen to give it to someone who showed signs of distrust and now you’re upset and refusing to yield to God’s standard.
But when has God’s standard changed because we didn’t like it?
But Vernique! What about men? They’re supposed to submit too!
You’re right, Fam! They are!
Ephesians 5:25: “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her….” However!
When Christ laid His life down for the Church it did not negate His authority as the head of the Church!
He was still the embodiment of God in the flesh!
Likewise, a husband’s submission, or lack thereof, does not take away his role as head of household. It simply establishes another dynamic to the role of husband.
Therefore, I beseech you, women do not marry a man who does not love and live like Christ. You are only putting yourself through undue frustration and placing your life and legacy at risk of being out of alignment with the will of God.
Further, when you’re not being your best self, I am certain your expectation is to still be loved as Christ loved the church. Why then, do many women and wives state they will submit to a husband only when they are in agreement.
If God only kept His promises and loved us when we were on our best behavior, it would mean nothing to us. The Bible says, even the wicked love those who love them (Luke 6:32). The power of love, and in this case, submission, is that even when there is an off day, week, month, SEASON, the love displayed through submission means even more!
If you chose to marry someone and they turned out to be flawed (who would have guessed?), your responsibility is still to love and submit (unless your life is at risk).
We cannot love the standard of God only when it delights us. Maturity comes in doing the hard things. If marriage is for the sanctification on the saints, how then can we be sanctified in our comfort? We cannot, Beloved.
For those dating here is my admonition:
Women- At the top of your “list” should be, “someone I trust to submit to yield to.” Everything else is futile.
Men- Live worthy of the submission of your future wife. Learn discernment and how to use wisdom to make decisions. Submit to God, train your ears to hear His voice.
For those married I implore you:
Husbands- The greater part of submission is on you. You will have to give an account to God for how you stewarded your family. Hear your wife. Do not abuse her trust or stifle her voice.
Wives- Give him the opportunity to lead. Pray for and encourage his decision-making capabilities. Provide safety for him to make mistakes. Delight & REST in the covering of your husband.
To all: Be transformed in the renewing of your mind concerning submission and the beauty therein. Do not the enemy to steal the joy you can experience as you live within God’s divine order.
What are your thoughts? What do you believe about submission? Did you agree with Fantasia and her husband? Comment below! I wanna hear from you!
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