4 Ways to Show Him Your Soft Side Without Feeling Weak
Okay, let me dispel this myth right away: Showing your soft side in a relationship does not make you weak!
I was scrolling on IG (aka avoiding doing work) and came across Tammy Rivera’s (Wife to rapper Waka Flocka) page. She posted a clip of her and her husband on Marriage Bootcamp (on WE tv) where they were arguing. Waka said something to the effect of, “why are you talking so aggressive?” to which Tammy replied, “When I was talking soft, you didn’t respect it.”
I get it. At some point in your life you overextended yourself to someone close to you and they responded by taking advantage of the situation. So, you vowed NEVER do that again and now you are more guarded, more straightforward, and people can either take you or leave you.
But the problem is…they will leave you.
“Well if they weren’t man enough to take me I don’t need them anyways.”
But from one neck rolling, teeth-sucking, slick-mouthed, I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T *do you know what that means* woman to another….YOU’RE WRONG, SIS!!
The truth of the matter is you cannot make your current and future relationships pay for your past ones.
We’ve all been hurt a time or two…or six. However, if we take steps towards healing, we should get to the place where we engage in relationships without fear.
Yeah, there are some jokers out there who may want to take advantage, but this is where discernment and guarding your heart (which is TOTALLY different than being guarded) come into play. Take time to see what a man is all about to determine if he’s even worth the investment of your time and emotions before you start giving them out like a fish plate in the church basement after Sunday service.
So here are FOUR ways to show him your soft side, without feeling weak:
1. Indulge him a little
I feel like I’m coming out the gate with a hard one because if you’re anything like me, you don’t have time for the “dumb” stuff. Buuuuuut, men desire attention too, and it can come in inconvenient ways. For instance, when men so much as sneeze a little too hard their world crumbles. My first instinct is to roll my eyes and ignore. However, instead, tell him to rest, bring him a blanket, make him some soup, and touch his forehead a couple times. Everyone needs a little give sometimes. Being harsh and disregarding your mate will only create barriers overtime.
2. Ask him for advice
Men’s advice on non-male related things can be just…tragic. They try but sometimes their advice misses the mark. However, you can ask advice on things he may know more about or general problem-solving. Asking for advice requires a level of humility and vulnerability, but you may be surprised by how he responds. He may offer a perspective that you didn’t think of and in the process, he’ll feel helpful and considered.
3. Use your words wisely
This one may be hard but it’s necessary. Sometimes as women we can be flippant with our mouths without considering how our words may land. If you take more moments to carefully craft and artfully form your words, I guarantee you would establish a culture of mutual respect and consideration in your relationship. Proverbs says, “A soft answer turns away wrath” and there’s an old saying that says “You can catch more bees with honey than vinegar.” I’ll leave it at that.
4. Compliment him
Give your man compliments without cracking a joke behind it. Sometimes in relationships that are more friendly than romantic compliments go like this: “Don’t you look cute with your big head.” You both may laugh, but you took the genuineness out of the compliment. However, if you instead say, “You look really handsome today, babe!” you not only boosted his self-esteem, but you showed him some softness. You can also send him a nice note or text of appreciation telling him how much you love and appreciate him. If you don’t like doing things like this it may be hard at first, but at least give it a try!
5. *bonus* Switch it up!
If you’re married, one of the easiest moments to be soft is during sex. If you’re normally aggressive, be more submissive! I promise you submission is just as sexy as aggression (if not more). Add some dainty lingerie, let him know he has full control, and watch how he responds! Just be sure to invite me to the baby shower!
Do you have issues with showing your soft side? Do you like showing your soft side? Let me know your thoughts! Comment below and share this post with your friends!! CLICK HERE to start your healing journey with my life-changing self-guided course, Heal for Real!