I Watched Myself Get Burned

No seriously, I literally watched myself get burned.

Today, I made the most glorious egg, turkey bacon, and avocado open-faced sandwich you have ever seen in your life. I’d share the photo with you, but it’s halfway through my small intestine at this point.

Anyway, prior to cooking the eggs I realized I’d put more oil than necessary, so I grabbed a napkin to soak out some of the [very hot] oil. While doing so, a small dot of [VERY HOT!] oil got on my finger.

I felt the burn, I saw the oil on my skin, and honest to God, yall…we just looked at each other like…

It took me a solid minute before my brain turned on and said, “WIPE THE OIL OFF, VERNIQUE!” It was incredible to say the least.

But, later on I thought about it…

Why did I just let it sit there?

How often do I have these types of reactions?

Am I used to getting burned...in more ways than one?

To you, my questions may seem unrelated or over-analytical. But as a left-brain led individual, it’s an easy connection. Follow me for a moment…

How often have you gotten into relational patterns where you allow people to burn you while you passively watch?

Whether in the name of love or fear of loneliness you should never allow someone multiple or extended opportunities to hurt you. Doing so may be a sign you need evaluate where you learned that treatment was acceptable.

Often, the culprit is trauma. Traumas are very LOUD events that the enemy uses to perpetuate narratives to us long after the event has ended. It’s his best marketing strategy to keep promoting the same self-defeating propaganda someone else created for you. Trauma informs victims they are not worth of healthy treatment from others and I promise it’s an entire lie!

Maybe it isn’t trauma but your own lack of self-esteem or self-worth because no one told you how amazing you are, or that you deserve the best. Even still, I challenge you to uproot the lies with the Truth of God.

What occurs when we allow people to consistently mistreat us is, we stop moving out of their way. We become numb to abusive behavior and it becomes normal.

If you saw a bus coming at you in full speed you would do everything possible to not get hit. As a matter of fact, you wouldn’t even take the time to announce your departure from the deadly situation, you would just move…swiftly

Let this be your wake-up call:

MOVE [insert preferred expression] OUT OF THE WAY!

Don’t announce it. Don’t downplay how bad the situation is. Just go.

Yes, don’t announce it. Often the announcement of our removal is our bid for the other person to correct their behavior in hopes they can give us something to keep holding on to. No need to give another trial period. You already know how this will go.

Abusive personalities, or people who are simply satisfied giving you scraps in exchange for your love, will say anything in the right moment to keep you in their cycle of mediocrity.

STOP IT!

Decide that you’re worth more than empty promises and failed expectations. Stop watching yourself get burned and walk away with the dignity God gave you.

Side note: If you are in a physically abusive situation, get help! Leaving is often the most dangerous thing you can do without proper measures in place. This blog post is not advice on how to maneuver a physically abusive situation. If you are in an abusive relationship call the National Domestic Violence hotline 1−800−799−7233.

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